I think this is where I need to add a disclaimer to my blog. For me, this year has been devoted to figuring out what I want to do for the long haul. I got here after having felt crushed at work and trapped in an industry I have no interest in. I have questioned my worth, my sanity and every decision I have made. To call it a roller coster ride would be cliche and dishonest. I cant argue the fact that I have been up but those moments of up were neither sky high or exhilarating. Mostly I have been down. The reality is that this year I have doubted everything about me and that's a hard place to be. Hard and bad and I don't do well in bad places.
I started up this here blog, my social experiment if you will, as a document to my search for an out. And this is where the disclaimer comes in. I am above nothing and no one. As I search for my out I will attach myself to anything that can give me inspiration. I'm like a blood sucking leech. So if you hear me quoting lines from corny movies, over rated books, hip hop songs or even Oprah - that's just me sucking away and seeking out a little hope and inspiration.
Today I somehow got caught up in watching Flashdance. My son started fiddling with the television just as the best part began - the end where she dances her ass off. I was totally giving him the evil eye which must have worked because he didn't disturb a single thing. And his antics didn't distract me too much because I got to take in the entire Irene Cara song, What a Feeling.
First, when there's nothing but a slow glowing dream
That your fear seems to hide deep inside your mind
All alone I have cried silent tears full of pride
What a feeling, bein's believin'
I can't have it all, now I'm dancin' for my life
Take your passion, and make it happen
Pictures come alive, you can dance right through your life
Please, don't laugh. Ok, you can laugh but when you're done keep reading. This just solidifies that I need to figure something out about my want for a job that makes use of my love to gift wrap. Well, the song didn't solidify that thought (that would be silly) but it reinforced my need to try and make this passion of mine into something.
Are you still laughing? If so, I hope it's over the cheesy lyrics and not my employment idea.